I Never Get Tired of Dumb Criminals!

A couple of times a year I scour the globe for stories about dumb criminals and potential Darwin Award winners.  I think it’s hysterical and reminds me that cosmic Karma is alive and well.  Here are a few of my recent favorites:

A California thief stole 100 GPS trackers from the Santa Clara offices of tech firm Roambee. The company’s devices track goods as they are shipped around the world. “The moment we realized they had a box of trackers, we went into recovery mode,” says company co-founder Vidya Subramanian. Within a couple hours, the thief was in custody – tracked by how own loot.

Chandler Ridge Carlyle, 18, stole a cell phone at a party. Stung by the $600 loss, the victim reported the theft to police. A clever deputy made a FaceTime call to the phone—and snapped Carlyle’s picture when he answered.

A man entered a San Diego bank and demanded money from a teller saying, “You’re being robbed. Don’t make a mistake.” The brilliant teller told him she would be happy to help but he needed identification for such a large withdrawal.  So he swiped his debit card!

Most people hate their mugshots even more than the picture on their driver’s license, but a Florida man liked the picture on his wanted poster so much he used it for his profile on Facebook. Someone forwarded a copy to the police, who promptly arrested him on outstanding warrants.

Police in Laverton, Australia report that two geniuses tried to steal gas from a tour bus as it was parked overnight, using the tried-and-true siphoning method. Unfortunately for them they picked the wrong tank. Instead of the fuel tank, the suspects put the hose in the waste tank and sucked up raw sewage instead of gas.  They were easy to find – police just searched for two guys with really bad breath!

In Pennsylvania, 17-year-old Jason Hayes entered an elderly victim’s home through a window and demanded money. When she didn’t have any cash to give him he made her drive to an ATM. He wanted $2,000, but the ATM would only let the victim withdraw $460. Hayes allegedly held the victim and her husband at gunpoint in their kitchen for another hour before telling them to meet him in a parking lot the following morning with $1,500. He actually showed up to the rendezvous; so did the police.