Good vs. Evil – Food Edition

After the Thanksgiving binge eating I decided that I would only eat “good” food for a month.  It took me about a day to figure out that when Good and Evil were dividing up the world, Good got seriously out-negotiated when it came to food.  I think the conversation went something like this:


Good: “I’ll take dry toast, oatmeal (without sugar), and plain yogurt.”

Evil: “Good choices, but I choose bear claws, ham & cheese omelets, and Bloody Mary’s”


Good: “I pick spinach with a tablespoon of tuna and tasteless dressing (on the side).”

Evil: “Excellent choices, but I’ll take pastrami sandwiches with cheese, a side of fries, and beer.”


Good: “I pick skinless chicken, (something called) quinoa and steamed vegetables.”

Evil: “Hmmm, I guess that leaves me with fried chicken, mash potatoes, and green beans with bacon bits.”

After they were done, Good declared that only “Good food” would be eaten in Heaven.  That night, Good ate alone because all of the emaciated angels sneaked off to Jack-in-the-Box for double Western bacon cheeseburgers.